Change
I haven’t written anything in a while and feel the need to vent. The past few months have been amazing! I’ve become closer with my family, closer with Jeff and his family. Some of my friendships have faded away, a few have grown stronger. I’ve realized that this is all I need. I am so happy with just a few close friends, my love, my family and whatever adventures I come across.
Jeff leaves for Australia in 9 days and won’t be back until March 4. So many emotions are running through my mind lately! I’m so crazy in love with him and I am SO stoked for him to finally reach one of his dreams. I am scared, excited, sad, happy, confused, nervous, pissed and many more emotions all at the same time relating to this issue. I am scared because of my own insecurities; what if he finds somebody who is more exciting or what if being away from me for that long makes him forget about what we have? We talk about these things all the time and I’ve realized that he is having the same fears. I try to stay very positive about the situation but we’re all human, and we can’t pretend that we don’t worry about such things. I’m so thankful that we have a relationship where we can talk openly with eachother and not take offense. His friends KC and Joey are going along for part of the adventure as well, and it seems like there is a lot more negative vibes from their loved ones. I’m scared that a certain someones negative outlook on her boyfriend leaving for 3 months will at some point effect me while he is gone and I will end up with the same mentality.
While I am content with the few loved ones I have in my life right now, I wish I had a few more closer friends. Girlfriends that I could actually relate to and go on adventures with. Positive people. I do not want to be surrounded by any negativity during this time. So I’m hoping that I will make new friends and have my own adventures while he is gone, and when he returns we will have overcome a huge step in our relationship.
Here’s to a positive and exciting Winter. Something different. Change.
