New
I hvent posted anything since November, about 4 months ago! So what’s new with me… Jeff left for Australia and has returned. Of course that was extremely hard being away from eachother but thankfully we have amazing communication between the two of us, 100% trust and never had any question of what the other was doing. Things are even better than before and we just hit our 8 month mark!
As of lately I have been working overtime at a call center to save enough money for our big trip this summer. Come July we’re off to see the whole nw of the states! Just us, our backpacks cameras journals and the car. Lots of great music as well! Camping, no bullshit. I’m still sick of bullshit people I’m Boise. Honestly, the thought of moving away sounds so amazing, not to escape or because I think people are different anywhere else but because I want to experience unknown for a little while. Jus meet new people who don’t go to the same places and are maybe into more adventurous things. I’ll miss my family, that’s pretty much it. Friends have proven what they are incapable of. Anyway all that matters is that I have this unstoppable drive to do everything I can to become who and what I want to be in my life and I have the most amazing lover and best friend by my side to accomplish it with me and support me!
Change
I haven’t written anything in a while and feel the need to vent. The past few months have been amazing! I’ve become closer with my family, closer with Jeff and his family. Some of my friendships have faded away, a few have grown stronger. I’ve realized that this is all I need. I am so happy with just a few close friends, my love, my family and whatever adventures I come across.
Jeff leaves for Australia in 9 days and won’t be back until March 4. So many emotions are running through my mind lately! I’m so crazy in love with him and I am SO stoked for him to finally reach one of his dreams. I am scared, excited, sad, happy, confused, nervous, pissed and many more emotions all at the same time relating to this issue. I am scared because of my own insecurities; what if he finds somebody who is more exciting or what if being away from me for that long makes him forget about what we have? We talk about these things all the time and I’ve realized that he is having the same fears. I try to stay very positive about the situation but we’re all human, and we can’t pretend that we don’t worry about such things. I’m so thankful that we have a relationship where we can talk openly with eachother and not take offense. His friends KC and Joey are going along for part of the adventure as well, and it seems like there is a lot more negative vibes from their loved ones. I’m scared that a certain someones negative outlook on her boyfriend leaving for 3 months will at some point effect me while he is gone and I will end up with the same mentality.
While I am content with the few loved ones I have in my life right now, I wish I had a few more closer friends. Girlfriends that I could actually relate to and go on adventures with. Positive people. I do not want to be surrounded by any negativity during this time. So I’m hoping that I will make new friends and have my own adventures while he is gone, and when he returns we will have overcome a huge step in our relationship.
Here’s to a positive and exciting Winter. Something different. Change.
It’s all happening.
I’ll skip the back story and I’ll start with present day. I’m currently on tour with a rock/punk/rap band called (hed) P.E., slangin’ their t-shirts. I’m not completely certain how I fell into this job, but I’m here, and I’m making the best of it. In three days we start a tour with the infamous Insane Clown Posse (which is the point of this blog). I couldn’t feel any more fortunate about being able to do this tour. I see this as a excellent opportunity to dive into the bizarre, unknown, unexplainable, and I feel, highly interesting sub-culture of the Juggalo. I mean, jesus christ, I am actually going to be in the middle of “the dark carnival!”
The Juggalo life-style is something that is so unknown to outsiders that we are completely left in the dark as far as their inner workings are concerned. The only things that we really know are that they all love Faygo, have the same tattoo, and they fucking love clowns. I may only be speaking for myself, but I wanna know what the fuck they are all about. Don’t quote me on this, but I am fairly certain that ICP is one of the worlds largest independent artists to date. They have sold over 6.4 million records, 2 of those albums have gone gold. Rolling Stone Magazine rated ICP as the “worst band in history.” How can the worst band in history sell 6.4 million records? What the fuck? I have a hard time grasping on to this concept. I plan on digging as deep as possible into this culture. I want to know why such a large group of people are so dedicated to a band that is obviously no better than sub-par, and that is speaking with an open mind. I want to know where professional wrestling comes into play with all of this. I want to know everything!
Needless to say, the Insane Clown Posse are nothing short of marketing geniuses. They have somehow manipulated millions of people into thinking that the combination of clowns, shitty soda, and rap are cool. The term “cult following” doesn’t even come close to describing their fan base. These fans have helped this group build an empire. I have found that ICP goes much much further than music. They have ventured into clothing, wrestling, movies, and the record label industry. They are self made millionaires, and they owe it all to the dedication of the “Juggalo Family.” Mind blowing.
This tour is 2 months long, with the possibility of being extended to 3 months. I plan on documenting my discoveries here on this blog. Day 1 is coming closer and closer. I’m getting nervous.
There are times to let things happen, and times to make things happen. Now is that time. You will either make things happen, watch what happens, or wonder what happened.
I want to do one of the two of these right now. Scream out of frustration, celebration, love, sadness, clarity, and passion. and then have an amazing hug with Jeff afterwards.
my house is a disaster right now. Boxes everywhere, making little paths to the bathroom and bedrooms. I’m getting down to the part where I just have this leftover shit I don’t know if I want to keep or get rid of. the stuff that gets moved around with me but never really unpacked because I have no use for it. Maybe I should have a quick yard sale or hit up some pawn shops today? I’m going to make a list of the things I’d like to sell and see if anyone actually wants to buy any of it. Hopefully people will, the money would go towards rent and bills. I wish I could go back to being a little kid again for a week, no worries except for not wanting to be picked last for dodgeball.
A New Beginning
So after a somewhat bumpy last year, I’m finally feeling like things are back on track. I’m writing more, taking more pictures, enjoying the outdoors, keeping the greatest friends close to me, etc. I met a man who inspires me, makes me laugh, makes me completely comfortable and quite frankly is the best teammate I could hope for. I feel like I am ready to start chasing my dreams! You know when you’re on a walk with your headphones, or a drive in the middle of the night, and every song makes you feel like you’re in a movie? A soundtrack to your life? I feel like that all the time these days. I’ve been having so many beautiful and amazing moments lately and I want to photograph/document every second of it all! I’ve never felt as optimistic and carefree as I do these days, ever. It’s a pretty amazing feeling! So here’s to an epic adventure :)
